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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Ogre's LiveJournal:

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    Thursday, July 8th, 2004
    3:33 pm
    Really good Song!
    If you wanna hear a really good song, listen to Yellowcard - Gifts and Curses. its really good. its on the spiderman 2 soundtrack with Dashboards Vindicated (also a very good song)

    heres the lyrics

    "Mary belongs to the words of a song.
    I try to be strong for her, try not to be wrong for her.
    But she will not wait for me, anymore, anymore.
    Why did I say all those things before? I was sure.

    (She is the one), but I have a purpose,
    (she is the one), and I have to fight this,
    (she is the one), a villian I can't knock down.

    I see your face with every punch I take,
    and every bone I break, it's all for you.
    And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
    still I will always fight on for you.

    Mary's alive in the bright New York sky,
    the city lights shine for her, above them I cry for her.
    Everything's small on the ground below, down below.
    What if I fall, then where would I go, would she know?

    (She is the one), all that I wanted,
    (she is the one), and I will be haunted,
    (she is the one), this gift is my curse for now.

    I see your face with every punch I take,
    and every bone I break, it's all for you.
    And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
    Still I will always fight on for you.

    I see your face with every punch I take,
    and every bone I break, it's all for you.
    And my worst pains are words I cannot say,
    Still I will always fight on for you. Fight on for you ..."

    Current Mood: bored
    Tuesday, July 6th, 2004
    3:56 pm
    "Hope dangles on a string
    Like slow spinning redemption
    Winding in and winding out
    The shine of it has caught my eye

    And roped me in
    So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
    I am captivated

    I am Vindicated
    I am selfish
    I am wrong
    I am right
    I swear I'm right
    I swear I knew it all along

    And I am flawed
    But I am cleaning up so well
    I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

    So clear
    Like the diamond in your ring
    Cut to mirror your intentions
    Oversized and overwhelmed
    The shine of which has caught my eye

    And rendered me
    So isoloated, so motivated
    I am certain now that

    I am Vindicated
    I am selfish
    I am wrong
    I am right
    I swear I'm right
    I swear I knew it all along

    And I am flawed
    But I am cleaning up so well
    I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

    So turn
    Up the corners of your lips
    Part them and feel my finger tips
    Trace the moment, fall forever
    Defense is paper thin
    Just one touch and I'd be in
    Too deep now to ever swim against the current
    So let me slip away
    So let me slip away
    So let me slip away
    So let me slip against the current
    So let me slip away
    So let me slip away
    So let me slip away
    So let me slip away

    I am Vindicated
    I am selfish
    I am wrong
    I am right
    I swear I'm right
    I swear I knew it all along

    And I am flawed
    But I am cleaning up so well
    I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

    Slight hope
    It dangles on a string
    Like slow spinning redemption..." ~ Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated

    So I went to see Spiderman 2 friday night with Nathan, He was able to get away from the wife cause he felt bad that of all my firneds i invited to come up only 2 at that time were actually coming (only one showed up, thanks again leeann). I really liked the movie, thought it was very good (went and saw it again on sunday by myself). I was definitly able to relate to him not wanting to be spiderman anymore, and wanting to have his own life and go after the girl of his dreams......sounds familiar doesnt it...kinda like that time i didnt want to be called ogre anymore...and wasnt there a girl in that moment too (lol moment, yeah only for the past 3 freaking years...damn glad thats over)......not that being an ogre gives you super powers.


    "And I am flawed
    But I am cleaning up so well
    I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself"
    Oh well...on a brighter note, there is actually gonna be some direction in this lame life now. Over the past couple of months ive lost 25 pounds, im aiming to lose another 25. Ive started working out with my bros friend who goes to the gym everday.. so im trying to clean myself up. But most importantly ive actually decided what im gonna to do! The directions i had to choow from were keep making bingo markers, go back to school for teaching, police officer, or back to school for video game programing. So ive decided to be a police officer. So my life will now have some direction in it, hopefully in that direction ill come across a nice girl.

    Well it looks like im actually gonna do something with this sorry life.... "Slight hope, It dangles on a string, Like slow spinning redemption..."

    Current Mood: awake
    Wednesday, May 26th, 2004
    3:41 pm
    been a while
    been a long time since ive gotten to do one of the online quizzes, thought this one was really funny
    Your Homicidal Rampage! by crash_and_burn
    Your name:
    Weapon of Choice:Bazooka
    Your Favorite Target:Prostitutes
    Your Kill Count:1,922,750,294
    Your Battle Cry:"Who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp?"
    Years You Spend in Jail:38
    How Much Money In Damages You Cause:$223,829,856,661,594
    Your Homocidal Insanity Level:: 79%
    Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!


    just got home from work, about to go play some FF11 time to get my InuYasha up to lvl 30 so i can do the dark knight quest, then ill really be kicking some ass. Nothing new, work is work, still unning around busting my ass doing everthing...no different from other days. Its nice being an ogre, get all lonely and depressed, deal with it for a bit, get tired of it, and then just tell your emotions to shut the hell up, then your fine.

    PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Cant wait for friday, heading to bretts beach house, nima will be there too. Look out ladies 3 single guys will be out roaming.

    Current Mood: numb
    Monday, May 24th, 2004
    3:55 pm
    screw this lonely/depressed shit, im sick of it...tired of feeling like crap, time for some changes
    Sunday, May 23rd, 2004
    10:49 pm
    been a while since ive posted, must say that was a nice post i left with too. well im sitting around doing nothing, currently talking to nima thankfully hes kind enough to listen to me bitch. So whats new...nothing with me, still single same job. other thatn that the only new thing is my best friend and his wife had a baby boy on monday. i saw Sherk 2 on friday night, it was really good and funny. ive lost count of how many times i have seen the first one, down at school id be alone in my room in one of my lonely/depressed moods and would watch shrek and it would make me feel better. I really liked Shrek 2 but honestly no princess would ever fall for an ogre..."she's a princess, and your a...an ogre" fairy godmother in shrek 2. Its kinda like that friends ending, no beautiful girl would get off that plane for some dork guy.
    "big, stupid, ugly ogre"
    always such lovely posts i leave...oh well

    Seether with Amy Lee - Broken
    "I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
    I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
    I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
    I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

    ?Cause I?m broken when I?m lonesome
    And I don?t feel right when you're gone away
    You've gone away, you don't feel me here anymore

    The worst is over now and we can breathe again
    I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
    There?s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
    I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

    ?Cause I?m broken when I?m open
    And I don?t feel like I am strong enough
    ?Cause I?m broken when I?m lonesome
    And I don?t feel right when you?re gone away

    ?Cause I?m broken when I?m open
    And I don?t feel like I am strong enough
    ?Cause I?m broken when I?m lonesome
    And I don?t feel light when you?re gone away"

    Current Mood: dont ask
    Thursday, March 4th, 2004
    9:32 pm
    not in the best of moods
    I hate this world...it really sucks.

    "All my work and endless measures
    Never seem to get me very far
    Walk a mile just to move an inch
    Now even though I?m trying so damn hard
    I?m trying so hard
    This world can turn me down but I
    Won?t turn away
    And I won?t duck and run, cause
    I?m not built that way
    When everything is gone there is
    Nothing there to fear
    This world cannot bring me down
    No cause I?m already here, oh no!"

    ~ 3 Doors Down - Duck and Run

    Current Mood: angry
    Thursday, February 19th, 2004
    10:55 pm
    need advice
    well im about to go to bed so ill make this quick, i need some advice of something. cute girl at work, havent worked with her very much but she seems cool, i think she is like a year younger than me, possibly may be interested in me...just one thing...she has a kid. just kinda weirded out, been looking for a girl, possibly found one, just wasnt expeecting a kid, oh well let me know what you think

    oh and if you havent see pirates of the carribean: curse of the black preal...watch it, its really funny

    Current Mood: amused
    Saturday, February 14th, 2004
    1:53 am
    v-day
    fuck valentines day...yeah i said it
    Wednesday, December 17th, 2003
    11:24 pm
    LOTR
    just saw Return of the king...and it definitly kicks ass, i cant wait to go see it again over the weekened, maybe even a 3rd or 4th time too. Legolas and Sam definilty kicked some ass...though i'd garuntee that amy would cry at least 3, maybe 4 times. well off to bed
    Wednesday, December 10th, 2003
    10:56 pm
    good day today...
    got a raise...hot new girl working in the office
    Monday, December 8th, 2003
    10:36 pm
    back again...
    had some cable problems over the weekend, it sucked...a weekend with no tv and internet. Fortunitly though on thursday my Inuyasha movie 2 on dvd came in the mail, so ive watched that a bunch. and on friday i got a notice in the mail that my wall scroll was at the post office, but they had closed and it was snowing like crazy, so since i had nothing else to do saturday morning i woke up early and me and my dog augie walked to the post office in the snow, it was fun. And my Inuyasha wall scroll is really cool, though a little bigger than i thought it was going to be, but i made room to hang it.

    Thanksgiving was good, went to my next door neighbor's wedding the friday after. Not much else going on, played lots of FFX2 over the weekend, other than that just working 50 hours a week and continueing the search for a girl thats actually worth my time...but that may take a while...

    new HOOBASTANK CD tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Current Mood: apathetic
    Monday, November 17th, 2003
    11:06 pm
    kinda bored...
    not much to do, well besides work. in my boredom lately ive actually been working out, and i dont know why buy praticing my old tae kwon do moves, though its kinda become more like Ogre-Kwon-Do, ive combined my two fighting styles. and from this working out and praticing ive lost ten pounds already.

    Had fun over the weekend, hung out with nathan on saturday, played warhammer against him, and almost beat him. Its a strategy game, and he is very strategic while im more of a fighter. i lost the game by 2 points, but anything within 400 points is a tie. Then after the game, i drove up to visit Nima at rutgers, the two of us and some of his friends (have to ask him about the attractive girl we went with)went to see ELF, it was really funny. We saw a preveiw for Shrek 2...sweet, shrek meets the inlaws hehe, also there was a poster up for Aliens vs. Predator, SSSWWWWWEEEEEEEEETTTT!!!!!!

    Not much else going on, just waiting for my Inuyasha wall scroll and 2 movies to be shipped to my house. Other than that just trying to come up with a list of gifts for people for christmas.

    Current Mood: optimistic
    Saturday, November 15th, 2003
    1:01 am
    events of late...
    "Something missing
    Left behind
    Search in circles
    Every time I try
    I?ve been here before
    I?ve seen you before
    I can?t escape walking down these halls
    Hard to find a place where there are no walls
    And no lines begging me to cross
    Only straight ahead better move along " ~ Trapt - These Walls

    Well as for that "something missing", I think its been found. What had I been searching for you ask? My confidence. Story: So I go up Best Buy on Tuesday night to buy some stuff (Inuyasha vol.8, T3 dvd, and whatever else i wanted to buy). I go to check out, and since its almost christmas they have a guy standing there directing you to which register, so he tells me where to go. So I walk up to the counter and this beautiful girl happens to be my cashier. She starts rining up my stuff and sees the InuYasha dvd, and says "you know that vol. 10 +11 are out now?", so i say "yeah, I love Inuyasha, its my favorite" So we get to talking about InuYasha (there wasnt anyone in line behind me). And before I knew it ot realised what had been said, I had asked her out. Unfortunately she says "Aww, Im sorry, I would, but im seeing someone."

    damn was she pretty. not only was she pretty and an inuyasha fan, but her neckalce was great. it was a dull red cord and at the center of it was just a bacaradi silver cap with a hole in it (like brett and leeann did for christmas.

    So i was rejected...yeah like that doesnt happen a lot, but I asked...and i realised what my problem is, I always think things out too much. Think about every possible outcome, which then gets me scared and nervous. So I now know what i have to do to fix that...maybe now that ive gotten some confidence back (havent had that since high school), ill find a girl soon...

    That girl was almost prefect...well no one is prefect, but she was pretty damn close, just my type, all she needs to do is play smash bros...If i had asked her if she played that and she said yeah, i probably would have just taken off my ring, dropped to my knee and asked her to marry me...ok so thats a little much, but then she would have been prefect...

    Not much else new here, Ive bought an InuYasha Wall Scroll and movie off of ebay, im waiting to win the second movie. Playing Nathan in Warhammer tomorrow, then go to see Nima later tomorrow night, the two of us and some of his friends are going to go see Elf, it looks really funny.

    Current Mood: optimistic
    Tuesday, November 11th, 2003
    10:42 pm
    such a good night
    no time to talk about it now, it couldve gone better, but still good

    Current Mood: optimistic
    Sunday, November 9th, 2003
    9:22 pm
    doing better...
    So that is what depression feels like...to lose all hope, and to just give up...heh i would have thought it would be worse than that...im a little dissapointed in myself for letting a silly human emotion affect me like that...im an ogre i shouldnt have let myself succumb to that. oh well, its over with, time to move on...

    Kinda boring weekend, they go by way to fast, hung out with nathan yesterday, we sat around drinking and playing video games, kicked his ass in smash bros and madden as usual...and the shut out streak continues, the last four games weve played have a total combined score of around 170 - 0...you can guess who has the 170...if you said me that would be correct.

    well back to playing my new game cube game beofre going to bed...i have a nice 10hour day of doing shipping tomorrow.

    Current Mood: indifferent
    Thursday, November 6th, 2003
    9:41 pm
    feeling sick...
    after reading melissa's away messages lately...."getting ready for my boy"..."my boy is here"...."out with the sweetest guy".....eww gag me already. Maybe its just the fact that she hasnt spoken to me for like 2 weeks that angers me...either that or my hatred towards most everythings has grown....damn 4 year aniversary coming up...

    oh well...trying to cheer myself up, so im looking up Inu-Yasha stuff on ebay, might buy the jap. versions of the movies. also theres a cool wall scroll heres a pic of it http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=3252101363&category=1345
    really want to buy that

    Current Mood: indifferent
    Wednesday, November 5th, 2003
    9:05 pm
    eh
    well i heard the new Trapt song on the radio today, its called Stilll Frame, i would have liked to see them on Halloween night with jim, i dont know if him and dan went or not. Seeing Trapt and Nickelback would be great. Also heard on the radio that the guitarist for Evanscence left for no reason...wonder if nima has heard the bad news yet, ill have to let him know later.

    Current Mood: indifferent
    Tuesday, November 4th, 2003
    10:04 pm
    gotta love dogs
    How does a dog know that your upset? last night i get into bed, and a min later, i hear Augie come up the steps, she comes into my room, jumps up on my bed, climbs over me as i lay there, walks up to my face, licks me, turns around walks to the end of my bed and layed down to go to sleep. she usually sleeps in my bed but never came up and licked me before.
    2:57 pm
    Qoute of the Day
    from the Fresh Prince of Bell Air

    Carlton: Im a...a...*cough* virgin.
    Will: What? A German???
    Cartlon: No a virgin.
    Will: A what? Ohhhhh.
    Cartlon I feel so...unused.
    Sunday, November 2nd, 2003
    10:33 pm
    ...sitting around watchin Inu-Yasha...
    well i had gone down to stockton for halloween this past weekend, I make a pretty cool Inu-Yasha (my costume), even if i do say so myself. I had thought Chucks party was on friday night but it ended up being on saturday night, but i was going home saturday. So i hung out with Brett and leeann for halloween, we ended up going to mikes place in brigentine. Had fun at the party but even though brett and leeann are two of my best friends i always feel like a fifth wheel with them, its always the three of us hanging out...

    well i guess i could have gone on that blind date with the girl that nathan works with, he had gotten her number for me. Im not one for blind dates though, ive always prefered getting to know the girl first, and becoming friends with her, then making the relationship more than just friends...maybe its just me, but after that all you get is lets just be friends, i dont want to ruin it, i guess they never realise that maybe it wont ruin it, maybe it would make it better...

    well back to doing one of the few things thats left to make me happy, back to watching Inu-Yasha...

    Current Mood: indifferent
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